


Therapeutic Ice-cream

by kuriositet



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, ice-cream and feelings, reluctant bffs, smol & tol, this is my favorite friendship on the entire show and i had to write this after the season finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-05-31 22:11:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6489316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuriositet/pseuds/kuriositet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Morning Star. Alec and Clary are having trouble sleeping with everything that's happened, and by chance they find themselves opening up over ice-cream.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Therapeutic Ice-cream

**Author's Note:**

> I adore these two dorks so much and I want them to be best friends forever and judge people together and kick demon ass together etc, so I had to write this thing. Hope you enjoy!!
> 
> (disclaimer (do people still do these?): I don't own the characters. Obviously.)

Alec doesn’t know what time it is, but he’s sure he’s been staring at his bedroom ceiling for hours, waiting for sleep to come without any luck. Izzy’s braided hair tickles his arm, just below where the sleeve of his t-shirt ends, and her soft snores fill the air, just like they have the last couple of nights. She had insisted on staying in his room ever since Jace took off, and Magnus… Alec had declined her offer first, but she ended up sneaking in late at night anyway. Alec had pretended to sleep and let her. It was nice, and reminded him of when they were little and had shared a room. Before Jace it was just the two of them and Izzy had been the single most important person in Alec’s life. She had been annoying at times, because after all she was his little sister, but he loved her then and he loves her now.

He can’t just lie here though. Sleep is miles away, his eyes aren’t even heavy and he thinks he might be getting hungry. He finally decides that getting out of bed is the best idea and carefully rolls over and sits up without disturbing his sister. The mattress dips to one side and Izzy rolls into the spot Alec just vacated, but she doesn’t wake up.

He leaves the room, quietly closing the door behind him, and steps out into the hallway where the air seems to be just a little bit colder. The floorboards feel like ice under his bare feet and he considers going back to get his shoes, but decides against it and continues down toward the kitchen instead.

There is no sign of life anywhere, not until he pushes the kitchen door open and finds Clary there, her carrot-red hair gathered in two long braids, one on each side of her head. She looks up from where she’s sitting at the kitchen island, slowly pulling a spoon from her mouth, and Alec notices the tub of ice-cream in front of her.

“Hey,” he says, not moving. He hadn’t expected to find anyone down here at this hour, least of all Clary. Clary and Jocelyn had both been staying at the Institute ever since they woke Jocelyn up, Simon and Luke coming to visit them every night and Clary sneaking out to hang out with Simon until just before dawn, according to Izzy.

“Hey.” She drops the spoon back into the tub of ice-cream and sighs. “Can’t sleep?”

“No. You?” Alec shifts his feet and rubs his arms, still feeling cold.

“Yeah, same.” She looks down at the ice-cream and then back at Alec. “Ice-cream?” 

Alec realizes he must be giving her a look because she’s about to either apologize or point out his rudeness, so he quickly says, “What flavor?” 

Clary looks surprised but pleased, and says, “Pistachio.” 

Alec thinks this won’t help at all with him feeling cold, but he also thinks that that is one of the better flavors, and he is still feeling a little hungry. “Okay. I’m getting my own spoon though.” 

“Great!” she laughs and pats the chair next to her, so he grabs a spoon from the drawer, sits down and tries the ice-cream when she offers it to him. It’s cold enough to make a shiver run down his spine, but it’s good and smooth and it helps him relax. 

They sit in silence for a couple of minutes, the tub of ice-cream sitting between them as they share. It’s Clary who breaks the silence, and Alec can feel her stealing glances at him as she speaks and waits for a reply. “How are you doing?”

Alec stuffs another spoonful of ice-cream into his mouth while he thinks. He doesn’t know what to answer because it’s just so much. Not to mention talking about how he feels has never been one of his stronger sides, and Clary… He’s not sure he knows her yet. She came out of nowhere and turned the entire shadow world upside down and, as she put it herself, they haven’t exactly seen eye to eye about anything before so sitting with her like this is strange. 

“I miss him,” he lets out at last, not sure who he is talking about. Jace or Magnus.

Clary settles it by replying, “Me too,” and Alec finally allows himself to really think about the gaping hole inside him that’s been there ever since Jace went through the portal with Valentine. “I still can’t believe he went with Valentine. He’s not like that.”

“No, he isn’t.” Jace is a lot of things, Alec thinks. It won’t be easy to completely get over Jace putting Clary before Alec and their parabatai bond, Izzy’s safety and future, not to mention the Law. Jace had turned his back on his real family in a way Alec could never have seen coming even after Clary was in the picture. Jace is a lot of things, but he isn’t evil. He isn’t the monster Valentine is, or that Valentine is making Jace out to be.

“I thought he would be okay if he could just get a chance to talk to mom,” Clary says, pushing a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. “That she could make him see that Valentine hasn’t corrupted him or whatever.”

“Maybe,” Alec starts, not really sure what he’s trying to say. “Maybe he’s got to figure it out for himself? I mean, I’ve known him since he lost his dad, and it was always important to him to stay true to his father in every way. He was a part of our family and we have always loved him, but in some ways he kept a distance.” Alec pauses again. “Suddenly finding out his father is alive, and that it’s Valentine made him withdraw even more, like he’s that ten-year old boy my parents had just adopted again.”

“But he’s not a boy now,” Clary says. “He’s a man.”

“Exactly.”

“So he just needs to realize that. That he’s his own person, and that he can make his own choices.”

“And that Valentine isn’t the only one who raised him. My parents were strict, but they loved him like one of their own.” Alec sighs and reaches for more ice-cream, only to find the tub is empty. He sighs again, and gets up to search for more.

“He has so many people who love him. My mom- our mom hasn’t even met him yet.” 

Alec doesn’t know what to say to that so he focuses on digging through the huge freezer in search of more ice-cream. He finally finds some and pulls it out. “Chocolate okay?” he asks, removing the lid, and Clary nods, smiling sadly.

They sit in silence again as they try the chocolate ice-cream, and once again it’s Clary who breaks it.

“I’m really sorry about Camille.” Alec looks at her in surprise, but then he figures Izzy must have shared what had happened at Magnus’ place with Clary. “If it hadn’t been for my mom and the Book of the White, she’d still be locked up in the basement of Hotel DuMort, and-”

“Don’t,” Alec stops her. “It’s not your fault. We needed to wake up your mother, and that was the only way. Besides,” he pauses, “Camille is what she is. It doesn’t matter.”

“Oh, so you and Magnus are okay?” Clary asks, and Alec feels a pang in his chest. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to pry, I just- I just want someone to be happy.”

“It’s complicated,” is all Alec says at first, then, “or it’s really simple and I wish it wasn’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s immortal. I’m not.”

“So?” Alec just stares at Clary, but she’s got her ‘are you seriously this stupid’ look on. “You’re just gonna give up what could possibly be a long and happy relationship with him because of that?”

“I’d grow old and die while he remains the same forever.” Alec has thought about it time and time again but the idea hurts. “I couldn’t do that to him.”

“But you’re hurting him now. And yourself,” Clary says, very matter-of-factly. “Wouldn’t being happy with him, even if it’s just for a little while, be worth it?”

“I- I don’t know.”

Clary sits quietly and eats ice-cream for a while, before blurting out, “Dot died.”

“What?”

“Dot. My mom’s assistant. She was a warlock. She was immortal, and she died.”

“She was killed and tortured by Valentine,” Alec says.

“Yeah but, I was just thinking. Immortal doesn’t mean living forever. Vampires are immortal too, but you can kill them.” Alec wants to say something about how comparing vampires and warlocks is an insult to the latter, but then he’s stuck with the image of a dying Magnus in his head, and he chokes on the words.

Finally, he says, “How exactly is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“Sorry,” Clary says, realizing what she had been saying. “Look, I just think that with everything that’s going on, you’d be better off living in the moment. Valentine could kill us all in a week, or a month. Yes, you could live for another fifty years, but even then, wouldn’t you want to have lived your life to the fullest, as if every day was your last?”

“Maybe. I don’t know.”

“Alec,” Clary’s voice softened, and she placed her hand on his arm. “You bottled up your feelings before, when they weren’t returned, and anyone paying attention could see you weren’t truly happy. Don’t do that again, not when you don’t need to.”

When Alec doesn’t reply, she adds, “Sorry if that was a bit too mundane for you.” She smiles, and Alec can feel a warmth spreading through his limbs. Then she yawns, and says, “I’m gonna go back to bed now. Are you gonna be okay?”

“Yeah, I think so.” She gives his arm a light squeeze, and then hops down from the chair. “I think I might go for a walk.”

“You do that,” Clary says. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” Her steps are inaudible as she leaves down the hallway, but Alec can hear her going up the stairs. He stays at the kitchen island for a few more minutes, really thinking about what he wants to do, and what he should do. The ice-cream is half-melted in the tub when he puts it back in the freezer and heads back to his room to his shoes, jacket and phone. Izzy is still snoring softly in the middle of the bed, hugging Alec’s pillow. He pulls the covers up to her shoulders from where they were bunched up at her waist, and she sighs softly, curling into a ball. 

The Institute is still surprisingly empty and quiet when he ventures downstairs for the second time tonight, but he thinks he can hear people stirring when he gets into the elevator to take him down to street level. It’s chilly outside, but the sun is just coming up and he finally hits dial on his phone.

“Hey, it’s me. Can I come over?”

**the end.**

**Author's Note:**

> Ps. I haven't read enough of the books to know how the immortality angst thing goes down in there, but yeah this is clearly my version and I based it on Alec's reaction (or what little we saw of it) in the episode. Because we all want the angst thing over and done with so they can be happy and have smooches, yes?


End file.
